UnSelfish Love

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When love is an emotion, it aligns with asmita , or the ego sense. Love is a feeling that we seek to cultivate because of the way our understanding of it makes us feel.

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There is nothing wrong with wanting to feeling loved. It is one of the most incredible feelings of all. But what society may sell as love or what our families may have modeled as love, isn't necessarily what true love is in the spiritual sense. Surround yourself in love with the Baba Nam Kevalam Mantra. From a yogic perspective, that is why the yamas outer observances come first, especially before the niyamas inner observances.

Yamas are about taking actions that are in direct consideration of others over our own needs, wants and desires.

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Principles like non-violence in action, thought or spoken word , truth , non-stealing, sexual and emotional restraint, purity, as well as non-hoarding are all attributes needed for the aspiring yogi. Each of these observances speaks to the ways that we can love without putting ourselves first. In Buddhism , metta "loving-kindness" is about taking one's self out of negative mindsets by putting kindness towards others first. It is important to note that the rewards of being kind and unselfish in action introduce you to a higher realm of love. This is a dominion where one need not ache, or be left yearning or uncertain.

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Audible Download Audio Books. Since self-love is not eliminated, then one way to view the text is in terms of the enlarged heart enlarged so as to include others within it. Edwards speaks of the Christian heart as enlarged instead of contracted. A Christian is big-hearted rather than small hearted. What are you, big hearted or small hearted? Here is one test to find the answer. A person of selfish spirit is ready to make much of the afflictions that he himself is under, as if his privations or sufferings were greater than those of anybody else…A selfish man is not apt to discern the wants of others, but rather to overlook them, and can hardly be persuaded to see or feel them.

But a man of charitable spirit is apt to see the afflictions of others, and to take notice of their aggravation, and to be filled with concern for them, as he would be for himself if under difficulties. And he is ready, also, to help them, and take delight in supplying their necessities, and relieving their difficulties. He rejoices to obey that injunction of the apostle Col.

Charity The no you principle of yielded-ness takes a humble spirit because it includes submitting to the wants, needs, and perspectives of another. But it also demands an unselfish spirit. Such is needed to not seek self not putting what I want first and foremost over what you want; not what pleases me but what pleases you; let's do it your way so I can sing, I did it your way.

To seek the things of others in this sense is far a field from envy or pride. We are not seeking what others have and we want but lack as in envy. We are not seeking the things of others to display what we have as in pride. To seek the things of others is to promote them, to promote their good by supplying and advancing what they need. That is the decisive point of Romans , Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. What we focus on is the goal of advancing the happiness, safety, and welfare of our neighbor. Thus if you infer to the opposite of self-seeking love you correctly think about others seeking love.

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It is the seeking of the things of others versus seeking ones own things. But this is only partly true.

Anyone who requires you to give up what you love for "love" does not love the REAL YOU.

We need to broaden our perspective still further. The opposite of self-seeking in the most fundamental sense is not others seeking. It is seeking the things of Christ. Note the opposite of self interest stated in the book of Philippians: They all seek their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ Phil.

The most important contrast to self-love is Christian, Christ centered, love. We seek the interests of others because in the most radical way we seek the things of Christ. Without this quest for the things of Christ, you are a person without love and thus without meaning, dignity, and value 1 Cor. That says a mouthful and it is very important. This is one of the places where Christian love stands in direct opposition to every other kind of love. There is a seeking here that defines a Christian in contrast to a non-Christian.

What it involves is fourfold: it involves radical subservience, regulation, commandments, and insistence. Unselfish Christian love means that all our interests, pleasures, longings, and comfort zones are viewed as subservient to something higher and governing. In this place they are sought not necessarily abandoned by living a life of love in devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If sexual pleasure is sought, it is sought in the Lord within marriage in a bond of loving mutuality.

Even the most intimate things serve the one with whom we have to do Heb. Money is sought in order to have the things of life as a good steward before the one who owns all. Money is a means by which we serve God in all buying and selling. Money is shared with others to promote the gospel.

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It is used to secure the necessary bread for daily living. Hunger is satisfied to the glory of God. A classic verse begins with whatever you eat or drink 1 Cor. It is not simply a metaphor for something else like hungering for righteousness; it is literal eating and drinking that serves the great goal of glorifying God.

Emotional rest and physical refreshment are sought in a way that pleases the Lord. So they are sought for the enjoyment they give but that enjoyment serves a higher end, which is to live a healthy life of love to Christ. Take vacations for example. Why do you go on a vacation? What do you do on vacation? Christian love that is not self-seeking means that answers like vacations are for rest and relaxation are tied to a higher goal: the rest that vacations provide is needed so I can be a better servant of Christ. Self-love operates within the framework of Christian love.

You may drive defensively to work because you are avoiding pain seeking the protection of yourself by promoting your own safety. You work to earn money and pay your bills to have food, clothing, and shelter. This enables you to satisfy your appetite and to keep yourself comfortable whatever the weather. What is it that distinguishes Christian love from self-love? What turns the self-love into godly, Christian love? It is not the elimination of these things. Rather, it is the regulation of them that transforms them.

It is their regulation by a higher principle by the higher principle of devotion to God and therefore devotion to others for His sake that transforms them. So as we pursue the matter of self-love seeking our own happiness, we also seek the glory of God and the happiness of others. We add others-love to self-love.

Esther Phillips - Unselfish Love

But what is most important here is the ultimate resource. What is sought in this seeking is the main thing. Something higher is sought, something that governs all the self-seeking and relegates it to a truly subordinate place.